Communists Want Indiana Jones Banned

The Russian Communist Party called for the new "Indiana Jones" movie to be banned from Russian theatres, condemning it as "crude, anti-Soviet propaganda that distorts history."

The fourth Indy film went on release in Russian cinemas on Thursday, landing 808 screens, the widest ever release for a Hollywood movie in the former USSR.

Here are some reviews from some cranky Reds:

Viktor Perov, Communist Party member from St. Petersburg: "What galls is how together with America we defeated Hitler, and how we sympathized when Bin Laden hit them. But they go ahead and scare kids with Communists. These people have no shame."

Andrei Gindos, card-carrying party member: "Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett (are) second-rate actors, serving as the running dogs of the CIA. We need to deprive these people of the right of entering the country."

Sergei Malinkovich, St. Peterburg Communist Party chief: "Our movie-goers are teenagers who are completely unaware of what happened in 1957. They will go to the cinema and will be sure that in 1957 we made trouble for the United States and almost started a nuclear war. It's rubbish ... In 1957 the communists did not run with crystal skulls throughout the U.S. Why should we agree to that sort of lie and let the West trick our youth?"

There's nothing like the combination of failed political ideology and senility . . .
. . . or maybe they're just sore losers.


"Ha! Ha! Ha! Stupid Commies!"