(And how good would a presenting team of apathetic Joaquin Phoenix and swearing Christian Bale have been?)
At best, things were anti-climatic. Didn't they already have a celebration of Hollywood liberals this year? I think we called it "The Inaugural".
Aside from being the year of the homosexual, again, where did all these Indian people come from? How come none of them are driving cabs?
More importantly, where the hell were they when I needed someone to cheat off in Algebra class?
Looking over this year's list of pompous nominees, I could either scrape together $10-12 (or ONLY $9 for a matinee) to sit behind a couple chattering old ladies going on and on and on and on about how predeterminedly wonderful the movie they're about to see is, based solely on what they heard during the show last night, or rent the newly released "Against the Dark" during dollar day from the local video store and watch Steven Seagal battle vampires.
Here's a hint: one of the choices saves me about ten dollars and two hours of my life.
By the way, a personal thanks from my front room TV to the Fox network, for its bold decision to not run any new episodes of "Family Guy" or "Simpsons" during the debacle, and leave us with only three hours of NASCAR instead. It really enjoyed having the night off.
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